Into The Desert

There I was, living with my grandmother and grandfather when my father finally remarried. I was so excited as this meant that I could go live with my father. I was so excited to be getting a new mother.

So, I went back to New Mexico (where I was born). I entered the desert both literally and figuratively.

The Golden Years

My parents divorced when I was about a year or so old. Then, they remarried and divorced again by the time I was 3. My father obtained custody of me.

The only memory I retained of my mother is this: I am at the kitchen table with one or two other children. An older woman (my grandmother?) is at the sink. My mother is leaving out the back door (which was in the kitchen) and waving “bye, bye”. I clung to this memory my entire life. Now, I have new memories of my mother and this one is not so desperate any more.

Depression’s Legacy

I have had this post written in draft form for a couple of weeks. I have been hesitant to publish it because it is so personal. I was afraid of revealing so much. But, in the interest of furthering awareness of what impact Depression can have on our lives and the lives of our loved ones…

Meeting My Mother

In a previous post “A Letter to My Mother“, I mentioned:

“When I was 3 years old, my parents divorced. Somehow, my father got custody of me. Unheard of in the very early 1960’s. Well, he left me with his mother (for 5 years until he remarried) and prevented my mother from having any further contact with me. When I was 18, I asked him for some data on her so I could find her – like a birthdate. He told me he “did not remember”. I still remember my ex-husband’s birthdate, but perhaps he was “just being a guy” in not remembering birthdates. Finally, when I was about 26, my mother contacted him (again). He relented and gave her my address. (More on this whole story in a later post).”

Here is some more of the story:

My Story

(Photo from Great Mind Wallpapers – click on image to find this and more beautiful wallpapers. I posted it here because I needed some beauty in the midst of all the current doom and gloom).

Zathryn Priest of “A Never Quiet Mind” is a young novelist who happens to suffer from bipolar disorder. On his blog, he occasionally shares his personal experiences. He is an inspiration, I recommend you check out his site. Recently, he has begun a “Depression Awareness Project” where he invites people to share their stories of fighting depression, suicide, and other mental illness problems. He hopes to make this e-book freely available with the intention of raising awareness.

A while back, I wrote a letter to my mother and posted it here. I mentioned a little of my own history and promised more later.

In support of Zathryn’s project and to fulfill my promise, I will begin my story. I will file these entries under “My Story”. I give Zathryn permission to any or all of my story as he sees fit as regards the “Depression Awareness Project”. I hope it helps. It may help me to write it.

The title of this blog “Out of the Void” has a very specific and personal meaning for me.